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Change Your Mind; Change Your Marriage




The mind is incredibly powerful. Proverbs 23:7 tells us, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he." This verse highlights the profound impact our thoughts have on our lives, including our marriages. Have you ever stopped to think about what you are thinking? Do you have a mindset of struggle or a mindset of surrender?



The mindset we hold significantly influences our actions and outcomes. If you constantly feel like you're struggling in your marriage, it might be time to evaluate your mindset. Jesus said, "By their fruits, you will know them" (Matthew 7:20). This means we can identify our mindset by examining the results it produces in our lives. Our thoughts shape our attitudes, behaviors, and ultimately, our relationships. A mindset of struggle often manifests in frustration, anxiety, and a constant sense of dissatisfaction. Conversely, a mindset of surrender fosters peace, trust, and resilience, allowing us to navigate marital challenges with grace and faith.


What are the thoughts you have about your marriage? Do you think right thoughts as stated in Philippians 4:8 (NIV): "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Do you allow the things you feel to influence the way you think, or have you allowed the word of God to form your thoughts? Mastering your mind is crucial for having a successful marriage because your thoughts govern your actions, and your actions become your reality. If you think your marriage is hopeless, you begin to act in a way that depicts those exact thoughts.


Four Ways to Identify Your Mindset


Understanding whether you have a mindset of struggle or surrender is crucial for cultivating a healthy marriage. Here are four ways to help you identify your mindset:


  1. Do You Try to Change Your Spouse? Are you often frustrated because your spouse isn't meeting your expectations? Do you find yourself trying to change them? This might indicate a mindset of control rather than surrender. A mindset of surrender acknowledges that only God can transform hearts (Ezekiel 36:26).

  2. Do You Try to Make the Marriage Work by Your Strength? Are you relying solely on your efforts to keep the marriage afloat? While effort is necessary, a mindset of surrender means recognizing that true strength and help come from the Lord (Psalm 121:1-2).

  3. Do You Pray for Your Marriage and Spouse? Prayer is a powerful indicator of a surrendered mindset. If you are consistently bringing your marriage and your spouse before God in prayer, it shows that you trust Him to work in your marriage (Philippians 4:6-7).

  4. Do You Obey the Lord's Instructions for Your Marriage? Obedience to God's instructions, even when they are difficult, demonstrates a surrendered mindset. Ephesians 5:22-33 guides how spouses should treat each other. Following these instructions requires trust in God's design for marriage.



Many people say they want to make their marriage work, but the wrong mindset keeps them from seeing this become a reality. A mindset of struggle is one where we try to control and fix everything ourselves. In contrast, a mindset of surrender involves taking our hands off the wheel and allowing God to steer. It means letting Jesus fly the plane of our marriage and coordinate its affairs.

This shift can be challenging, especially if you are used to doing things your way. But consider this: perhaps the reason you've been struggling is that you haven't fully surrendered your marriage to God.




Here are Practical Steps that will help you surrender your marriage to God.


  1. Daily Prayer: Start each day by surrendering your marriage to God. Ask Him to guide your thoughts, words, and actions.

  2. Scripture Meditation: Meditate on verses that remind you of God's sovereignty and love. Verses like Proverbs 3:5-6 and Philippians 4:13 can be particularly encouraging.

  3. Seek Support: Surround yourself with a community of believers who can pray for you and offer godly counsel.

  4. Trust the Process: Surrender is not a one-time event but a daily practice. Trust that God is working even when you cannot see immediate results (Romans 8:28).


To help you declutter your mind, I have this digital resource that will guide you through the process of renewing your mind with God's truth. It includes practical exercises, scripture meditations, and prayer guides designed to help you align your thoughts with God's word.


Changing your mind can indeed change your marriage. A mindset of surrender allows God to work in ways we cannot imagine. By recognizing the power of our thoughts and aligning them with God's truth, we can experience a transformed marriage. Let go of the mindset of struggle and embrace the mindset of surrender. Allow Jesus to take the wheel and lead you into a marriage filled with His peace, joy, and love. Remember, as you think in your heart, so will your marriage be. Choose to think thoughts of faith, hope, and surrender, and watch as God transforms your marriage.

May the Lord grant you the grace to implement these changes in Jesus name.

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