Before we dive in, I have to ask—did you try any of the date ideas from my last blog?
I would love to hear from you. If you haven't, please try them. Marriage works when we put in the work.
I’ve already heard from some of you, and the stories have been hilarious! One couple attempted the “cooking challenge” and ended up accidentally making a salty cake instead of a sweet one (yes, salt instead of sugar happened! 😂). But hey, they laughed, they bonded, and that’s what counts.
Another couple did the "dance in the living room" date, and let’s just say—now they have a whole playlist for spontaneous dance-offs!
These little moments of fun are so important in marriage. They keep the spark alive, they remind you why you fell in love in the first place, and they help you feel connected.
But let’s take it a step deeper today.
Are you and your spouse growing together, or are you just coasting along?
Have you ever been at the beach and suddenly realized the waves have carried you way farther than where you started? That’s exactly what happens in marriage when we’re not intentional.
At first, it’s subtle. You’re both busy—work deadlines, the kids, responsibilities. You assume everything is fine because you’re not arguing. But one day, you wake up and realize you feel more like roommates than lovers.
That’s the scary part: If you’re not actively growing together, you’re slowly growing apart.
My husband and I had one of these aha moments a while back. We sat down and asked, “When was the last time we laughed so hard that we cried?” And for a second, we couldn’t remember. And if you know us, that’s a problem because laughter has always been our thing! (I talk more about this in my book Marriage of a Lifetime, 25 Lessons in 25 Years)
That’s when we knew—it was time to refocus, to be intentional, and to bring the fun and the deep conversations back into our marriage.
Signs That You’re Drifting Apart
Sometimes, you don’t even realize you’re drifting until you start feeling distant. Here are a few signs that your marriage might be in “autopilot” mode and these will help you to take action quickly.
🚩 Conversations are all about logistics—bills, chores, schedules, responsibilities—but no real heart-to-hearts.
🚩 You feel more like business partners than best friends.
🚩 You can’t remember the last time you laughed until your stomach hurt.
🚩 You avoid certain topics because they feel too tense or uncomfortable.
🚩 You feel emotionally distant but don’t know why.
If any of these describe your relationship, don’t panic! Awareness is the first step, and you can turn things around.
One of my favorite scriptures on this is Amos 3:3:
"Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"
Marriage isn’t just about sharing a house—it’s about sharing a journey. Walking together. When you stop checking in, stop dreaming together, and stop prioritizing time with each other, it’s easy to drift apart. This can happen over months or years.
But here’s the hope:
Philippians 1:6 reminds us, "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion."
Be assured, God started something amazing in your marriage, and He’s not done yet! But it’s up to you to keep walking together. A successful marriage doesn’t happen by accident. It takes intentional work.
3 Simple Ways to Grow Together Again
The good news? It takes some simple, small, consistent efforts. I must emphasize on “consistency”. Closing the gap between you and your spouse doesn’t require grand romantic gestures. Here are some quick things you can do.
1. Schedule a Weekly “Marriage Check-In”
Life is busy. If you don’t intentionally create space to connect, weeks (or months!) will fly by before you realize how distant you’ve become.
So, once a week, set aside time for a quick check-in. Ask each other:
✅ What went well in our relationship this week?
✅ What’s one thing we can improve?
✅ How can I pray for you?
I remember the first time my husband and I did this. I thought it would be all serious and deep, but it wasn’t. We realized we had missed our deep times of gisting 😂 Marriage is a team sport, but sometimes, life takes over.
Tip: Put your check-in on the calendar. Treat it like an important meeting—because it is.
2. Revisit Your Shared Vision Prayerfully
Remember when you used to dream together? It’s time to revisit that.
Ask each other:
💡 Where do we want to be as a couple by the end of this year?
💡 What kind of marriage do we want to model for our kids?
💡 How do we want to grow spiritually, emotionally, and physically together?
When you both have a shared vision, it’s easier to stay aligned and avoid drifting apart.
Tip: Create a Marriage Vision Board! (Yes, really.) A visual reminder of your goals, dreams, and prayers keeps you both focused on what truly matters.
3. Laugh Together—A Lot! 😂
Laughter is one of the most underrated superpowers in marriage.
One night, my husband and I stayed up late watching old Chinese movies where the blood looked like ketchup, and we laughed until we could laugh no more. It wasn’t a “romantic” date night, but it brought us closer than ever.
Laughter doesn’t just make life more fun—it rebuilds emotional connection.
Try this: Watch a funny movie or stand-up special. Reminisce about hilarious memories.
Play a silly game. Be goofy—dance in the kitchen, make inside jokes, have fun!
Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine."
So go ahead—laugh more, stress less, and enjoy each other again.
Free Download here 25 days Marriage Bliss Challenge
To make your weekly check-ins easier, I’ve put together a FREE “Marriage Bliss Challenge.”
It includes:
✅ Simple conversation prompts.
✅ A guided prayer for your marriage.
✅ Space to jot down thoughts, prayers, and goals.
Want More Support? Let’s Work Together! 💬
Join my 1-on-1 Marriage Coaching Program and get faith-based guidance to:
✅ Strengthen communication.
✅ Reignite intimacy and connection.
✅ Build a Christ-centered marriage that thrives.
📞 Schedule a FREE 15-minute discovery call here! 👉 Sign Up Now
Final Thoughts: Let’s Keep Walking Together! 💕
Marriage isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. Drifting happens, but it doesn’t have to define your story. A little intention, a shared vision, and a whole lot of laughter can bring you closer than ever.
Tell me in the comments: What’s one thing you and your spouse will do this week to grow together? I’d love to hear from you!
Next Blog Sneak Peek:
Ever feel like your spouse just doesn’t communicate the way you do? 😩 In our next post, we’ll tackle “My Spouse Doesn’t Communicate! What Should I Do?” and break down practical ways to improve communication. Until next time! Stay connected.
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