Lord! Where is my husband?

Many times when I have the opportunity to share with single ladies, the question, "Where are all the husbands?" somehow manages to creep into the conversation. Women often wonder if they will ever get married, as it seems there is a shortage of good men out there. While I try to make light of it and calm their fears, one thing is certain: the fear of being the "last one standing" plagues many women, especially when considering the so-called ticking biological clock. (I don't believe in that concept, but that's a story for another blog post.)

The fear of not knowing where the good men are or if there are any men left is a debate that can go on forever. One of the things I use to answer this concern is the story of Elijah, who thought he was the only prophet left. God answered him by saying there were still 7,000 who had not bowed their heads. For any woman thinking, "Where are all the good men?" that scripture should be a comfort. God always has a plan for His children.

A young lady called Elizabeth shared her story with me. She was tired of receiving yet another wedding invitation, forcing herself to smile and scream in excitement as another friend handed over her invitation. Inside, she felt a pang of sadness and frustration. Where was everyone finding their husbands? Was there a secret place she was yet to discover? She went to church faithfully, yet no one ever said more than the usual greetings. She even joined a gym, one of the supposed best places to meet a husband, according to magazines, but still nothing.

This anxiety and preoccupation with finding a husband grips many women today. Society often puts undue pressure on women, and it feels like everyone else is moving forward while you're standing still. But the search for a husband cannot be done physically; it must be approached spiritually. Let me announce for anyone who might be wondering; God knows where your husband is, and He is the one who can best arrange the meeting.

Shift Your Focus

Rather than being consumed by the "where," let's shift our focus to the "who" and the "why." Who are you becoming in this waiting period? Why do you desire marriage, and how does it align with God's purpose for your life? Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." Trusting God involves surrendering your timeline and allowing Him to work in His perfect timing.

Embrace the Waiting Season

Waiting is never easy, but it is often in the waiting that God does His most profound work in us. Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) promises, "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Embracing the waiting season means using this time to grow closer to God, to develop your character, and to prepare yourself for the future He has planned for you.

Find Contentment in Christ

Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV) offers wisdom on contentment: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." True contentment comes from Christ alone. When you find your satisfaction and joy in Him, the pressure to find a husband lessens, and you can rest in His timing.

Prayer and Preparation

Instead of obsessing over where to find your husband, focus on prayer and preparation. Pray for your future spouse, that God is working in his life as well. Pray for wisdom, guidance, and patience. James 1:5 (NIV) encourages us, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

Additionally, prepare yourself to be the best partner you can be. This isn't about changing who you are but about becoming the woman God created you to be. Develop your gifts, pursue your passions, and cultivate a deep and abiding relationship with Christ.

Letting Go of Anxiety

It's natural to feel anxious about the future, but as Christians, we must refuse to be anxious as Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) reminds us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Let go of the anxiety and trust that God is in control. His peace will guard your heart and mind as you wait on Him.

Trust God's Perfect Timing

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NIV) beautifully states, "He has made everything beautiful in its time." Trusting God's timing means believing that He knows what's best for you and will bring it to pass at the perfect moment. Your desire for a husband is not unnoticed by God, and He delights in giving good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11).

While it may feel like everyone else is finding their husbands, God's plan for you is unique and perfectly timed. Rather than being consumed by where to find your husband, focus on who you are becoming and trust in God's timing. Embrace the waiting season, find contentment in Christ, pray, prepare, and let go of anxiety.

Trust that God knows your heart's desires and will make everything beautiful in His time.