How often do you communicate with your partner?
Multiple times throughout the day
Once or twice a day
A few times a week
How do you feel when you are around your partner?
Safe and secure
Anxious and nervous
Happy and content
Annoyed and irritated
How often do you fight with your partner?
How do you resolve conflict with your partner?
By talking things out calmly and logically
By yelling and arguing
By avoiding the issue altogether.
By giving in or conceding
How do you feel about your partner's friends and family?
I like them and get along well with them.
I tolerate them but don't really have much in common with them.
I don't like them and don't enjoy spending time with them.
I don't really know them very well.
How much time do you spend with your partner?
As much as possible—we're practically inseparable!
A fair amount—we usually have at least one night a week where we spend time together.
Not as much as I'd like—we're both always so busy.
Hardly ever—we pretty much just go our separate ways.
How much do you and your partner have in common?
We have a lot in common—we share interests, values, and goals.
We have some things in common, but not everything.
We don't have much in common, but that doesn't bother me.
We don't have anything in common, and it's starting to become a problem.
Are you and your partner physically affectionate with each other?
Yes, we are always hugging, kissing, and touching each other.
Yes, but only when we're alone; we're not really comfortable being affectionate in public.
No, we're not really that physically affectionate with each other.
No, and it's something that I'd like to change.
Do you and your partner have fun together?
Yes, we always have a good time when we're together.
Yes, but there are times when we don't seem to be on the same wavelength, and it's not as fun.
No, we don't really seem to click when we're together.
No, and it's starting to cause tension in the relationship.
Do you feel like you can be yourself around your partner?
Yes, I can be myself completely; I don't have to put on an act.
Yes, but there are certain things that I keep to myself or don't share with my partner.
No, I don't really feel like I can be myself around my partner.
No, and it's causing me to feel frustrated and unhappy in the relationship.
How much do you trust your partner?
Completely—I have total faith in my partner.
Mostly, I trust my partner, but there are still a few things that make me hesitant.
Not really—I have some trust issues with my partner.
No, I don't trust my partner at all.
How much does your partner trust you?
Completely—my partner has total faith in me.
Mostly, my partner trusts me, but there are still a few things that make him or her hesitant.
Not really—my partner has some trust issues with me.
No, my partner doesn't trust me at all.
How well do you and your partner communicate?
We communicate very well; we're always able to talk about what's on our minds.
We communicate pretty well; we usually have no problem communicating, but there are occasional misunderstandings.
We don't communicate very well; we often have difficulty understanding each other.
We don't communicate at all; we never seem to be able to talk about what's going on between us.
How well do you and your partner handle conflict?
We handle conflict very well—we're always able to talk things out and come to a resolution.
We handle conflict pretty well; we usually have no problem resolving our differences, but there are occasional arguments.
We don't handle conflict very well; we often have difficulty communicating and working through our problems.
We don't handle conflict at all; we avoid it at all costs, or else things tend to escalate quickly and get out of control.
Overall, how satisfied are you with your relationship?
Extremely satisfied: I couldn't be happier with my partner or our relationship.
Satisfied: I'm happy with my partner and our relationship, but there's always room for improvement.
Dissatisfied: I'm not really happy with my partner or our relationship, and I want to see some changes.
Extremely dissatisfied: I'm unhappy with my partner and our relationship, and I'm not sure if things can be fixed.
If you answered "yes" to most of the questions in sections 1–5, it sounds like you and your partner have a pretty solid relationship. You seem to share similar values, interests, and goals, and you're both committed to working through any challenges that come up. Keep up the good work!
If you answered "yes" to most of the questions in sections 6–10, it sounds like you and your partner have a good foundation, but there are still some areas that need some work. It's important to keep communicating with each other and working through any issues that come up so that you can continue to strengthen your relationship.
If you answered "yes" to most of the questions in sections 11–15, it sounds like you may be facing some challenges in your relationship. It's important to talk to your partner about what's going on and try to work together to find solutions. If you're struggling to communicate or resolve your differences, it may be helpful to sign up for our Effective Communication in Marriage Course and let’s help you strengthen your relationship.