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21 Mistakes That Make You Look Desperate as a Single Lady

Updated: Nov 29, 2023


Being single can be a fun and exciting time in your life, but it can also come with challenges. Christian women are called to trust God's timing for their love lives and not despair.


Unfortunately, there are some common mistakes that you can make as a single woman that can make you appear desperate. I want to share 21 of these mistakes and how to avoid them so you can live confidently and faithfully in your season of singleness. So get ready to learn how to be a confident single lady focused on God's plan for your life and living your best while embracing your singleness.

The Bible clearly states in Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Let's dive into these mistakes and see how best to align yourself with this biblical truth. So let's get started!

  1. You are chasing after relationships. Don't let the fear of being single control your actions; trust God's perfect plan for you. It's essential to take time to get to know someone and let the relationship develop naturally. Don't rush into things out of fear or desperation. Don't let desperation cloud your judgment. You deserve a healthy and loving relationship, so take things slow and trust in God's perfect timing. Stay strong and stay faithful!

  2. Settling for any man: Don't pay anyone to be with someone. Wait on God, and He will provide the right one for you at the perfect time! Settling sets you up for a potentially toxic and unfulfilling relationship. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, so why settle for less than God's best? Trust in His plan and wait patiently for the right person to come into your life.

  3. Neglecting your personal growth: It can be tempting to focus solely on finding a partner but don't let that consume all of your time and energy. Use this season of singleness to grow in your relationship with God, pursue your passions and hobbies, and invest in yourself. A confident and fulfilled woman is much more attractive than a desperate one.

  4. Constantly seeking validation: Knowing your worth and value as a child of God is essential instead of constantly seeking validation from others. Remember that true validation comes from within and not from the opinions of others. Be confident in who you are and what you bring to the table without needing constant reassurance from a romantic interest.

  5. Ignoring red flags: When you're desperate for a relationship, ignoring warning signs or red flags in a potential partner can be easy. Don't let your desire for companionship blind you to potential issues that could arise down the road. Red flags, I believe, are God's way of protecting us from potential heartache and disappointment.

  6. Comparing yourself to others: Social media can be a breeding ground for comparison, especially regarding relationships. Remember that everyone's journey is unique; just because someone else may be in a relationship doesn't mean you're any less worthy or desirable.

  7. Applying too much pressure: Trying to force a relationship is never a good idea. All it does is scare guys away, so take your time and let it happen naturally. Stop dropping hints about marriage or constantly asking where the relationship is going. Trust in God's timing and enjoy getting to know someone without putting pressure on them.

  8. Losing sight of your standards: Don't let desperation cause you to lower your standards or compromise your beliefs and values for a relationship. Remember that you are worth waiting for, and don't settle for anything less than God's best for you. Don't hesitate to say no if a guy asks you to compromise.

  9. Using online dating as your sole source: While trying online dating is not necessarily bad, don't rely on it as your only means of finding a partner. Get involved in your community and church, attend events, and build relationships organically. Trust in God to lead you to the right person instead of solely relying on technology.

  10. Forgetting to pray about your marital life: It can be easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and forget to pray about your love life. But bringing this area of your life before God and trusting His plan is essential. Pray for wisdom, discernment, and patience as you navigate your singleness and wait for the right person.

  11. Being too available: If you become overly available, you may appear desperate to the one you're trying to impress. Keep busy with work or hobbies so that they can see how desirable and independent you are! Scarcity creates value, so don't be afraid to have a life outside of dating.

  12. Putting all your happiness in a relationship: Your happiness should not depend on being in a relationship. Find joy and contentment in your own company and your relationship with God. A healthy and happy relationship starts with two individuals already whole and fulfilled independently.

  13. Being too friendly: There is a fine line between being friendly and being flirty. Being overtly friendly can make you appear attractive and confident. But when you cross that line into flirtation, it can make you come across as desperate and insincere. It's important to maintain boundaries and not come on too strong in your interactions with others. Remember to keep God at the center of your relationships and trust His plan for your love life. So keep it subtle.

  14. Making ultimatums: Giving ultimatums in relationships is never a good idea, as it can come across as controlling and manipulative. Remember that God is in control, and trust in His timing for your love life. Don't try to force things or give ultimatums to try and get what you want. Instead, trust in God's plan for your life and be patient.

  15. Losing yourself in the relationship: It can be easy to become so focused on a relationship that you lose sight of who you are as an individual. Don't let a guy consume all of your time and energy; make sure to maintain your own identity and continue pursuing your interests and passions. A strong and independent woman is much more attractive than a clingy one. Remember, your relationship with God should always come before any romantic relationship.

  16. Settling for physical attraction: While physical attraction is essential in a relationship, it shouldn't be the sole basis for choosing a partner. Don't let desperation cause you to overlook crucial qualities such as character, values, and compatibility. Remember that true beauty lies within, and finding someone beautiful inside and out is essential.

  17. Always saying yes: It's great to be agreeable and accommodating, but don't forget to say no sometimes, too! Showing you can stand up for yourself and make decisions independently will be far more attractive than always being a pushover.

  18. Being desperate for attention: If you're always seeking attention from the opposite sex, they may not only think you're desperate for a relationship. But also view you as cheap. Remember your worth and value as a child of God, and don't settle for anyone who doesn't treat you with the respect and honor you deserve. Always remember that true love comes from above, not from constant attention or affirmation from others.

  19. Jumping into relationships too quickly: Don't rush into a relationship just because you're desperate to be with someone. Take the time to get to know them and ensure they are the right fit for you.

  20. Putting too much pressure on yourself: Remember, your relationship status does not define your worth. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to find a partner; instead, focus on growing in your faith and becoming the best version of yourself.

  21. Dressing provocatively: While there's nothing wrong with dressing up and feeling confident, avoid dressing in a way that may appear desperate for attention. Remember to dress modestly and focus on inner beauty rather than external appearance. Some things are meant to be hidden, and your body is one of them.


Now that you know these mistakes to avoid, be a confident and joyful single lady, rooted in your faith and focused on God's will for your life. You are strong, valuable, and loved by the Creator of the Universe – don't ever forget that! Christian women are called to trust God's plan for our lives and not let desperation consume us. Avoiding these mistakes will help you stay true to that calling and live confidently in every season of your life. Remember, God's timing is perfect.  Don't be afraid to embrace your singleness and wait patiently for the right person to come along in God's perfect timing. Dear single lady,  continue to trust in His plan for your love life! Remember, You are a unique, strong woman of faith, and God has someone special for you! Be confident, and don’t be afraid to take your time – He will make it happen.


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gemWOMAN Magazine
gemWOMAN Magazine
Dec 06, 2023
Rated 5 out of 5 stars.

Very insightful

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