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How Do We Keep the Fire Burning in Marriage? Reigniting Fun, Intimacy, and Joy in Your Relationship





Did You Recognize Your Triggers?

In the last post, we talked about emotional triggers—how they impact your marriage and how you can respond with grace instead of frustration. Did you take time to reflect on those triggers? If you haven’t yet, don’t worry. There’s no rush, but it’s important to keep moving forward. The key to building a thriving marriage is progress, not perfection.

Today, we’re going to tackle another important question:


How do we keep the fire burning in marriage? 


Whenever we talk about putting fire in a relationship, some people get wary. But what I’m talking about here is ensuring that your marriage doesn’t get boring. If it seems like it’s losing its spark, you can reignite the flames with intentional effort. No one wants to be in a boring relationship! And as the name implies, your relationship is a “ship”—it’s meant to move. You are the one who determines where it moves and how it moves.


In our first blog, I talked about intentionality. If there’s one word that every marriage needs, it’s intentionality. A great marriage doesn’t just happen—it’s built through consistent effort.

So, how can you keep the sparks flying—or at least maintain a warm glow?

Let's first address why the sparks fade in marriage.


When you first got married, everything probably felt exciting. You laughed, flirted, and couldn’t wait to spend time together. But as life got busier, those fun moments may have become less frequent.


Here’s why:

  1. Routine sets in. You get caught up in daily life and stop prioritizing fun.

  2. Stress takes over. Financial worries, kids, and work can make you forget to laugh together.

  3. Unspoken expectations grow. Resentment builds when you feel your needs aren’t being met.

But guess what? God didn’t design marriage to be boring or lifeless. He wants you to experience joy, passion, and connection with your spouse.


Ecclesiastes 9:9 says:

“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun.”

God’s Word encourages us to enjoy life with our spouse. Laughter, intimacy, and joy are part of a healthy, thriving marriage.

Marriage isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving and growing together in love, fun, and faith.


3 Ways to Reignite the Fire in Your Marriage

1. Prioritize Fun and Playfulness

You see I say prioritize not just play and have fun. When was the last time you laughed with your spouse? - A good hearty laugh.

Fun is a key part of our connections. It breaks down walls, relieves stress, and reminds you why you fell in love in the first place.


Here are some Practical Ideas:

  • Plan a surprise date night.

  • Try something new together (a cooking class, a dance lesson, or a fun hobby).

  • Watch a comedy or play a silly game.

 Tip: Download my FREE “Marriage Fun Date Ideas” PDF with 20 fun, low-cost ideas to bring laughter and joy back into your relationship!

👉 Click here to download your free guide!


2. Create Moments of Connection

Intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s emotional and spiritual too. Make time to connect with your spouse beyond surface-level conversations.

Practical Ideas:

  • Have a weekly “Marriage Check-In” to talk about your feelings, needs, and goals.

  • Pray together every night before bed.

  • Share one thing you’re grateful for about your spouse each day.

 Bonus: The FREE “Marriage Fun Date Ideas” PDF includes conversation starters to help you reconnect emotionally and spiritually.


3. Rekindle Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a vital part of marriage, but it often gets overlooked when life gets busy. Take intentional steps to reignite your passion.


Practical Ideas:

  • Schedule time for intimacy, even if it feels awkward at first. If you don't schedule it, It just might never happen.

  • Surprise your spouse with a romantic gesture (a love note, flowers, or a small gift).

  • Communicate your needs and desires openly.

Remember, intimacy grows when both partners feel safe, loved, and valued.


What About Nagging and Complaining? 

Let’s talk about a common issue that can kill the spark in marriage—nagging and complaining.

Proverbs 21:19 says:

“It is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”

Ouch! But the message is clear—your spouse will naturally gravitate toward you when they feel comfortable and safe around you. Constantly nagging and complaining create tension and push your spouse away.

Instead, focus on creating a peaceful, welcoming atmosphere. There are some things you simply need to learn to overlook.

The Power of Touch

Touch is a powerful way to maintain connection in your marriage. Not every touch needs to be sexual. A hug, holding hands, or a gentle touch on the shoulder can communicate love and support.

Make physical affection the norm, not the exception.

Practical Ideas:

  • Hold hands while watching TV.

  • Give your spouse a hug before leaving for work.

  • Sit close to each other during dinner.

Touch builds emotional intimacy and reassures your spouse of your love.


Are you ready to take intentional steps to reignite fun, intimacy, and joy in your marriage?

 Sign up for my 1-on-1 Marriage Coaching Program!

In this personalized coaching program, we’ll work together to:

✅ Strengthen your communication. ✅ Reignite intimacy and connection. ✅ Build a Christ-centered marriage that thrives.

 Click here to schedule a FREE 15-minute discovery call and learn more about how we can work together! 👉 Sign Up Now


Marriage isn’t perfect, but it’s worth the effort. God designed marriage to be joyful, passionate, and full of life.

When you prioritize fun, intimacy, and connection, you create a relationship that reflects God’s love and brings glory to Him.

💬 Don’t forget to download your FREE guide with fun date ideas and conversation starters to help you reignite the spark in your marriage!

👉 Download Your Free Marriage Fun Date Ideas PDF


Next week we are going to address the question "Are We Growing Together or Growing Apart?"  Remember you have to be intentional about building "YOUR BEST US", one step at a time!


Please share the blog post with your friends and leave a comment. Thanks.

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BOLA is a Speaker, Publisher & a Certified Life Coach offering courses, keynote speaking and coaching that promotes personal and relationship growth through the practical implementation of proven biblical methods. My life's passion and purpose is to be of service to women who want to become empowered to alter the course of their lives and relationships.

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