Before having children, most couples discover that it is quite simple to maintain a clean and orderly home. On the other hand, as your family starts expanding, the sheer amount of toys, school bags, strollers, and books starts to become daunting. On top of that, the quantity of work that needs to be done around the house, such as cooking, cleaning, and washing, appears to increase rapidly, yet your energy levels and ability to deal with everything else tend to decrease. It's probably around this time that I think that the majority of wives will become aware that their husbands aren't really pitching in to help out around the house as much as they used to. It's possible that he is still performing the same chores he did in the past, but he might not be aware that you are the only one picking up the slack for the additional labor that the children have caused. Alternately, he may feel the need to provide a more secure financial future for the family, and, as a result, he may be working longer hours and contributing less to household duties. If, on the other hand, you realize that it is becoming increasingly difficult for you to deal with the additional responsibilities at home, you need to find a way to communicate with your husband and ask for some assistance. I know you might say he should know you need help, but honestly, men sometimes don't notice and need to be told. So, instead of getting upset and mumbling around the house, try these suggestions and see if they get your husband up and doing more around the house.
Talk to him. Find a convenient time and place to discuss how you are feeling with him, and do so as soon as you can. Pray before the talk. Somehow, involving God will help steer the conversation. It is not a good time to start the conversation after a long day of work for either of you, after an argument about the state of the house, or when you are feeling frustrated. Instead, wait until you are in a more relaxed state to begin. Find a time when both of you are in a state of relative calm and have sufficient time to talk about the issue in depth. It is important that you are honest about how you feel and that you recognize all of the work that he is putting into the family as well. Tell him that you are struggling to manage everything on your own and that you would appreciate it if he could assist you with some of the responsibilities around the house. Remember the "sandwich principle" when speaking to your spouse and utilize it here.
Make a list together. Take a seat, and while you're there, jot down a list of all of the errands you ran today. The most common ones include things like cleaning the house, doing the laundry (including washing, ironing, and putting it away), shopping for groceries, preparing meals (including washing the dishes), paying bills, gardening, taking the trash out, washing the car, driving the kids to school, helping with homework and other activities, and walking your pets and taking care of them. Talk about which of those he believes he can assist you with and why. You should be prepared for him to have certain preferences, and unless there is a legitimate reason why you can't accommodate his preferences, you should accept them and try to let him do the chores that he likes better. Remember, baby steps. Don't expect him to take over a lion's share of the chores,and don't expect it to be 50/50, so don't be too pushy.
Do some chores together. Make an effort to do some of these responsibilities together. During the time that you clear the table, put away the food, and dry the dishes, for instance, he may wash the dishes. Or perhaps he helps you fold the laundry while you focus on the ironing. If you make time to perform the chores together, he will perceive them as being simpler, and the two of you will experience fewer complaints as a result. Plan your chores. Do not plan on getting all of your chores done over the course of the weekend. That might not go down well with your spouse. Make an effort to complete some of them throughout the course of the week. If you do this, you will still have time on the weekends to take it easy and have fun with your friends and family.
Allow Yourself to Lose Some Control. Recognize that he may not approach things in the same manner that you would. Recognize, as well, that he may not be as skilled as you are, as meticulous, or as well organized as you are. So try to look away if the sheets are not as straight as you would want them or the countertop is not as streaky clean as when you do it. It's not much of a sacrifice to make in exchange for some relief, and it will make him feel better about helping you out, too.
Express your gratitude. Remember to express your gratitude to him for all of the assistance that he has provided to you. It's true that doing housework can be exhausting and tedious at times, but showing some gratitude to the person doing the labor can go a long way toward making it all seem worthwhile. I know you might think no one thanks you, so why thank him? This act of gratitude goes a long way in ensuring your husband continues to help and strengthens the bond of your marriage also.
Use the children! If you have kids over the age of 6, they can help with chores as well. Teaching them early to help around the house will go a long way in relieving you of a lot of the work. So give them age-appropriate chores to handle.
Get Some Help If you are having trouble coping even with the assistance of your husband, you should check if you can get some outside assistance. Sending your husband's dress shirts and trousers to be laundered and ironed can make a difference, even if you choose not to hire a full-time cleaner once a week. However, hiring a part-time cleaner once a week could be a terrific idea. If you feel that going grocery shopping consumes too much of your time, you can benefit from making use of an online grocery store that also offers delivery services. If you find that you do not have the time or energy to cook, another option is to use a meal delivery service once a day to receive home-cooked meals. Determine which of your responsibilities you struggle with the most, and then investigate whether or not you can get help with those. Chores shouldn't be the reason why you fight with your husband. There is always a way around it. I hope this helps and I would love to hear about your experience after using these tips. I think that the majority of wives will become aware that their husbands aren't really pitching in to help out around the house as much as they used to. It's possible that he is still performing the same chores he did in the past, but he might not be aware that you are the only one picking up the slack for the additional labor that the children have caused. Alternately, he may feel the need to provide a more